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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617701">A Little Chaos</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/verfound/pseuds/verfound'>verfound</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Dingo Files: Tales of an Australian Dumbass [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Endgame Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, F/M, I am not having my baby in jail Luka, It's Always Dingo's Fault, June 5 prompt, Light crack, ML Weekly Prompts, Pregnant Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Prompt Fic, Six Baby Showers and a Funeral, Tumblr Prompt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:02:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617701</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/verfound/pseuds/verfound</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harmonika Couffaine came into the world like a hurricane, but you would expect nothing less of a Couffaine.  (At least they actually made it to the hospital.  Marinette would have killed Dingo if they hadn’t.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Dingo Files: Tales of an Australian Dumbass [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Crikey!  A Wild Dingo has Appeared!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Little Chaos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Response to MLWeeklyPrompt’s June 5 prompt (“You call them bad decisions, but I call them creative acts.”).  This started as one thing, then the lovelies at LBSC just started spitballing and it…it turned into something entirely different.  I don’t even know what this is anymore.  Six baby showers and an (almost) funeral, I guess.  A little cracky.  xD</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“MDC Designs, Jocelyn speaking.  How may I assist you?”</p><p> </p><p>“…heeeeeey, Joce.  Is…uh…Marinette’s not still there, is she?  She’s not….um.  She’s not answering her phone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, M. Couffaine.  Mme. Couffaine locked herself in her office shortly after you left.  I believe she turned her mobile off for the evening.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thought so.  Can you…shit.  Can you get her for me?  I need to talk to her.”</p><p> </p><p>“I would love to, M. Couffaine, but as I said she is busy and has asked not to be disturbed.  Given how upset she was earlier, I’m inclined to follow those orders.  I can relay a message for you instead.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Wrap it up, rock star!”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“…Joce, you’re killing me.  Please?  I need to talk to her.”</p><p> </p><p>“I cannot disturb her, M. Couffaine.  You know how she is.  Especially now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kinda why I need to talk to her, Joce.  Shit.  Fuck.  All right.  Just…let her know I probably won’t be home tonight.  I’m ok, just…shit.  I really hate your professionalism sometimes, Joce.”</p><p> </p><p>“Likewise, M. Couffaine.  I shall let her know.  Good evening.”</p><p> </p><p>– V –</p><p> </p><p>Dingo grinned up at Luka as the officer tossed him back in the cell.  Luka trudged over to him and plopped onto the cold floor, throwing his head back at the wall with a groan.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s going to fucking kill me,” he moaned, dragging his palms down his face.  Dingo cackled, bumping his shoulder against his own – or trying to.  There was a bit of a drunken wobble that landed Dingo in Luka’s lap, which only made Dingo laugh harder.  Luka groaned and shoved him off.  He still reeked of cake and booze, even though he’d changed before they had left the office.</p><p> </p><p>“Relax, mate!  You’re a Couffaine!” he cried.  “A fucking Boat Kid!  The Captain practically paid for this police station.  Not like it’s your first night here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not like it’s the first time it was your bad decisions landing us here,” Luka grumbled.  Dingo smirked as he pushed himself up, lifting his vibrant orange sunglasses to toss him a wink.  Luka wished he hadn’t.  The skin around his eye was starting to turn a lovely shade of mottled puce.</p><p> </p><p>“You call ‘em <em>bad decisions</em>,” he said.  He dropped his shades and leaned back against the wall, knocking Luka’s head with his elbow when he raised his arms behind his head.  Luka scowled and rubbed at the spot.  Of <em>course</em> the dumbass would hit where his own knot was forming.  “I call ‘em <em>creative acts.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“I call them you being a fucking idiot,” Luka grumbled.  Dingo started laughing again, and Luka sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“King!  You’re up!” the officer barked, returning and gesturing for Dingo to follow her.  Luka shoved him away when he smacked an obnoxious, wet kiss against his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“Relax, mate!” he laughed as he rolled to his feet.  Luka scowled at him, scrubbing at his cheek.  “I got this!”</p><p> </p><p>“You <em>having this</em> is what landed us here in the first place, asshole!” Luka called after him.  The two guys in the corner on the other side of the cell – the guys they had been fighting, who looked much worse than either of them did – snickered, and Luka groaned as he slumped back against the wall.</p><p> </p><p>How the hell had his day gone so awry?</p><p> </p><p>He knew his immediate circumstances – being arrested and looking at spending the night in jail – were entirely Dingo’s fault, but in all fairness it hadn’t <em>started</em> that way.  Dingo had been the one who had suggested going to the bar, and Dingo had also been the one who got drunk and had started the fight.  But the only reason he had wanted to go to the bar anyway was because fucking <em>Chloé Bourgeois</em> had been a fucking nightmare all day, and after the mess that was that afternoon Dingo had declared he needed “All the Drinks”.  Luka had only gone with him because <em>men aren’t welcome at these sort of things anyway, Couffaine.</em>  Once the heavy lifting had been done, he was obsolete.  Didn’t matter that the baby shower was for his fucking wife and kid.</p><p> </p><p>He took a deep, steadying breath and slowly pushed it out through his nose.  Marinette was probably losing her mind.  She was going to kill him, especially after the last shower.</p><p> </p><p>Because this hadn’t been her first one.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, no.</p><p> </p><p>This had been her <em>sixth</em>.</p><p> </p><p>And Marinette, who was already going crazy because of the pregnancy hormones and <em>wanting the damn kid out already</em>, was losing her goddamn mind over them.</p><p> </p><p>The first one hadn’t been so bad.  It had been really nice, actually, and Marinette had loved it.  Alya had thrown it, claiming it was her duty as best friend and future godmother of the baby (which he had just let her roll with, as they hadn’t really considered godparents or if the baby would even have them yet).  Marinette’s friends and family had been invited, they had ended up with more diapers and nursery items than they’d known what to do with (all of which the other mothers involved assured them would be used within the first month), and everyone had had a great time.  Marinette had been just between her sixth and seventh months at the time, and everything had been great.</p><p> </p><p>Or so he had thought.</p><p> </p><p>Until Rose had suddenly declared the shower hadn’t been <em>pink enough</em> and they needed a do-over.  Luka had insisted that wasn’t necessary: the first shower had been fine, and they were waiting to find out the baby’s sex – so who cared if the first shower hadn’t been <em>pink?</em>  Except Luka had forgotten Rose had been a Pink Person before she’d been a Boat Person, and that had apparently been the wrong thing to say.  Marinette, Rose had continued, had also been a Pink Person first, so naturally she would <em>love</em> a pinker shower, right?  And then, to their utter horror and bafflement, her <em>Pink</em> baby shower had somehow become a gender reveal party (that they still couldn’t explain, because the doctor knew the sex of course but neither of them had, and he was pretty sure they hadn’t signed a disclosure agreement for Rose) – which had only made Marinette burst into tears the second she walked onto the Liberty, which had led to an evening of Damage Control.  Which…had worked out for him, in the end, but he still hadn’t talked to Rose for a week afterwards.  Even if the Damage Control had been distracting and wonderful, it had started because Marinette had been upset, and he hated seeing Marinette upset.  He <em>really</em> hated seeing Pregnant Marinette upset.</p><p> </p><p>(But…he had been a little excited.  After that one.  And if a pink baby guitar had appeared in Harmony’s nursery the same day the plaque bearing her name appeared on the door, Marinette didn’t say anything.)</p><p> </p><p>The third one had been a family affair, sort of, and Sabine’s fault.  What no one had bothered telling Marinette, and what Sabine had been too kind to get upset over, was how little <em>the grandmother of the baby</em> had been involved in the planning of either of the previous showers.  And while she hadn’t said anything to Marinette (or Alya or Rose), she had said worlds to her mahjong group, and the next thing they knew Marinette was towards the end of her seventh month and getting rushed to the hospital because the surprise of yet another baby shower (well, the surprise of walking through her parents’ door and having a roomful of ladies screaming at her) had made her think she was going into labor, which had also brought on a mild panic attack because <em>it’s too early, she can’t come yet, Luka she can’t come yet!</em>  It had been a false alarm, of course, and the doctor had been great about it (“This is your first one, Mme. Couffaine.  This is all normal.”), but Marinette had decided she was over baby showers at that point.</p><p> </p><p>…which only made it worse when, a week later, Adrien had returned from Tokyo and invited her to a brunch that had turned into <em>yet another baby shower, </em>this time with all of their fashion industry contacts<em>.</em>  Marinette had taken it all in stride, especially when Adrien had explained that he <em>had</em> to, and everyone there loved her and just wanted to support her and the baby, and she had smiled through the whole thing – but she had started crying again the second she’d walked through their door afterwards, and Luka had had a very long talk with Adrien that night about respecting boundaries and clearing things with him first.</p><p> </p><p>They had thought they were in the clear after that, until they came home from a doctor’s appointment during her thirty-second week to find Jagged Stone had commandeered their living room for yet <em>another</em> baby shower.  This one was smaller than the others, at least, comprised only of Jagged, Penny, their parents, and the band.  And Fang, of course.  Marinette had immediately started screaming, saying they all knew she was done with the showers, and how could they let Jagged do this – which was when Penny had gently reminded her that no one really <em>lets</em> Jagged do anything.  He just <em>does</em>.  And Jagged had been adamant about the fact that it was his first grandbaby, and he hadn’t been there for any of the other showers (never mind that Marinette, Sabine, Penny, and Anarka had all tried pointing out how men usually weren’t so <em>of course</em> he wouldn’t have been).  Luka had stayed in the kitchen with Pierre, Crusher, and Dingo, who all had told him the only reason they were there (especially after Dingo had pointed out how much it was likely to upset Marinette) was because Jagged had threatened to exclude them from the next tour if they didn’t show.  And there was supposed to be cake.  (At least that’s the excuse Pierre and Crusher used.  Dingo claimed solidarity, wanting to support Mari and his new favorite goddaughter (…they still weren’t touching that one), <em>and</em> cake.)</p><p> </p><p>In the end, that particular shower had…well.  It had been a disaster.  Marinette had been sandwiched between Jagged and Tom on the couch, trying to force a smile as Jagged insisted they paint the <em>most rock-n-roll onesies ever</em> for his future granddaughter.  Penny, Anarka, and Sabine had slipped out shortly after the shower had started, and three hours later Jagged’s personal attorney was delivering them back home.  All three women were at various stages of drunk, and the attorney had explained to Luka they had been picked up for a drunk and disorderly.  (Which had surprised everyone except the attorney, who had already been waiting at the police station.  He had just assumed he was waiting for Jagged and Anarka, not Anarka, Penny, and Sabine.)</p><p> </p><p>“It would be sweet,” Marinette had told him after everyone had gone home, curled up on the couch beside him as she played with the stuffed crocodile Jagged had given them for the baby, “if it wasn’t so exhausting.”</p><p> </p><p>“If nothing else,” he had told her, nuzzling his face against her neck as a hand came to rest over her belly, “no one can claim Harmonika Couffaine is not incredibly wanted or incredibly loved.”</p><p> </p><p>She had smiled at that, and the way Harmony had kicked at his hand made them think she’d agreed.</p><p> </p><p>So there they’d been, Marinette thirty-eight weeks along and ready to pop.  She had been getting crankier as she got closer and closer to her due date, though whether that was because she was ready to not be pregnant anymore or because she was working herself ragged Luka wasn’t sure.  Her design house was still young, and she was worried about stepping away for maternity leave, no matter how much she trusted her staff.  She’d been working more than she should have to get everything in order.  And while the doctor said she was fine at every appointment, which had become weekly this late in the game, Luka still worried.</p><p> </p><p>He’d worried more when Chloé Bourgeois, of all people, had called him up two days ago.</p><p> </p><p>He was still baffled at the presence Chloé had become in their life.  Chloé had grown a lot since her childhood bullying days, but she was still…well, <em>Chloé.</em>  But being Chloé also meant she was Audrey Bourgeois’s daughter, and given Audrey had pretty much taken Marinette under her wing (Jagged would die if Luka ever dared use the term <em>adopted</em>) when she had taken over the <em>Gabriel</em> company that meant they still saw Chloé on the regular.  Plus, somehow Chloé had started dating Dingo’s cousin, and they were actually pretty serious, so now Chloé was also at most family events.  He wouldn’t say she was one of Marinette’s <em>closest</em> friends, but he knew there had still been plenty of after-work drinks and emergency meetings to complain about Audrey and unrealistic expectations. </p><p> </p><p>Which brought them to the sixth baby shower.</p><p> </p><p>Audrey had been <em>horrified</em> to learn that not only had <em>Adrien Agreste</em> thrown Marinette a baby shower before she had, but that Marinette had had <em>five baby showers she had not been a part of</em>.  This was viewed as woeful negligence on Chloé’s part, and as such Chloé had been tasked with throwing the most “utterly fabulous” baby shower Paris had ever seen.  Audrey was the best, after all, and as Marinette was her protégé she was on her way to becoming the best, as well.  And Audrey would have only the best for her favorite…</p><p> </p><p>…there had been a d-word, one Chloé had stumbled over before biting out <em>designer</em>, and Luka hadn’t had the heart to refuse her.</p><p> </p><p>It was to be thrown at Marinette’s office the coming Saturday and would be attended by her staff, the designers she had worked with at <em>Bourgeois</em>, a few of their fashion contacts, and – of course – Audrey Bourgeois herself.  Luka had tried to convince Chloé that they might not have room for all of those people, and that half of them probably wouldn’t want to come anyway as they had already attended either Alya’s or Adrien’s showers, but that hadn’t seemed to matter to Chloé Bourgeois.  Tom and Sabine would be supplying the cake, but Luka would need to pick it up (because Sabine actually had a backbone and had firmly refused to attend the shower, even if Tom’s backbone had wavered and he’d agreed to make the cake).  Marlena Césaire was doing the catering (her job had been threatened in true Bourgeois style when she’d tried to refuse).  He’d need to pick that up, too.  She would also need him to pick up the decorations she had ordered, Audrey’s gift, her own gift, decorate the space, and make sure Marinette wasn’t aware of any of this.  He still had access to a van, right?  And that bright-haired friend of his who looked like he dressed from a dumpster but was pretty handy with manual labor?  Her dear <em>Abby’s</em> cousin?</p><p> </p><p>Luka had regretted everything from the moment he had picked up the phone, but he was already in too deep to back out.  And any time he thought of telling her <em>hell fucking no</em>, he remembered that stumbled d-word and lost his nerve.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette would understand, he was sure.  If he survived to explain everything.</p><p> </p><p>Except things had quickly unraveled.  Because everything was so last-minute, most of the guests didn’t RSVP.  Because most of the guests had <em>already been to at least one baby shower for Marinette Couffaine</em>, the only ones who even showed up the day of were the ones who had the fear of Audrey in them.  Marinette’s staff had also agreed to come, most of them showing up early to help with decorations while he and Dingo ran to get the food and gifts</p><p> </p><p>That was when things had <em>really </em>gone downhill.<em>.</em></p><p> </p><p>The rocks had been trickling all morning, what with everyone being on edge because they all knew Marinette was going to hate this and Chloé was being…well, <em>Chloé</em>.  The avalanche had struck when Luka and Dingo had come back.</p><p> </p><p>Because they’d returned, the rest of the food still in the van as they carried the large cake in, to find Chloé and Jocelyn screaming at each other while two of the younger designers cried in a corner.  They had gawked, half-expecting to find something burning, when a third woman Luka didn’t recognize burst past them, waving her phone in the air and crying <em>I found it in rose gold, Chloé!</em>  She had knocked into him on her way to Chloé, upsetting his balance, and there had been a horrible moment where he and Dingo had teetered, juggling the cake before they overbalanced completely.  The room had grown deathly silent as all eyes had turned to them, watching in horror as the cake slid from the board and crashed into Dingo, knocking him to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>And Luka had stood there, mouth dropped open, gawking at his friend, as all hell broke loose.</p><p> </p><p>Because Chloé had started screaming again, except this time she was screaming at <em>him</em>.  The woman he didn’t recognize – Chloé’s newest assistant, he’d later learn – was calling Abner so Chloé could scream at <em>him</em> about his incompetent cousin.  Dingo was also screaming back, shouting that Marinette didn’t even <em>want</em> another baby shower and now he was covered in cake.  At some point during all this, Marinette had walked through the door with Audrey, and they’d <em>both</em> started screaming.  And somehow it had become <em>his</em> fault, and Marinette had started hitting his arm with her purse as she demanded to know why he had let this happen, and Chloé had started screaming at her mother because <em>they were early no one’s even here yet!</em>, and then Marinette had started <em>crying</em>, and Audrey had ushered her into her office with orders to the rest of them to <em>clean this place up before everyone else gets here or they’re all </em>fired.  And when he’d tried to follow, to make sure Marinette was all right, Audrey Bourgeois had <em>slammed the fucking door in his face</em>.</p><p> </p><p>…he had maybe started shouting at that point, too, about how he was <em>Marinette’s fucking husband and you can’t fucking fire me, Audrey</em>, but the crying beyond the door had only gotten louder, and he’d lost most of his gusto at the thought that he’d been the one to upset Marinette so bad.  It had been all too easy for Dingo to pull him away from the door after that.</p><p> </p><p>By the time the rest of the guests had started arriving an hour later, the office was immaculate.  Dingo had a new change of clothes from Marinette’s fall line, Abner had swung by with another cake and had managed to calm Chloé down, and when Audrey had emerged from the office with Marinette he had been relieved to see she was no longer crying, though she was still upset.  She had been wearing her People Pleaser smile, and all he had wanted to do was grab her hand and march her out of there.</p><p> </p><p>…except that was when Audrey had dismissed him, and even though Marinette was shooting him desperate <em>don’t leave me</em> eyes Dingo had hauled him out with a demand for drinks.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure how the party had gone once they’d left, but from what Jocelyn had said during his phone call he could only assume it hadn’t gone well.  Especially if Marinette had locked herself in her office again.</p><p> </p><p>He groaned and rubbed his palms against his eyes.  He should be at home right now, not in jail.  Marinette needed him more than Dingo did.</p><p> </p><p>“All right, Bri’s on her way,” Dingo called, and Luka looked up as the officer unlocked the cell and shoved him inside.  He blew her a kiss, and she rolled her eyes before heading back to the bullpen.  “She’s gonna swing by and get Marinette, and they’ll be here soon.  See?  Fixed everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t count when you’re the one who made it need fixing to begin with, Ding,” Luka snapped.  “How many times do I have to tell you that?”</p><p> </p><p>“One more, just for luck,” Dingo said with a wink and a wobble.  He placed his hand against the wall to steady himself before he let his legs give out, collapsing in a heap next to him.  “Christ, I’m sore.  Are you sore?  How did I get this sore?”</p><p> </p><p>“You fight about as good as you dress, that’s how,” one of the men in the corner snickered, and Dingo hauled himself up to wave a finger at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse you, monsieur, I’ll have you know this is an <em>MDC original</em>, thank you <em>very</em> much!” Dingo huffed.  He slumped back against Luka, who shoved him back on the wall.  “And I <em>work it</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, no clue who MDC is, but clearly they’re shit, dressing you,” the man called.  Luka felt his hand clench into a fist, and before he could really think it through he was pushing himself up.  Dingo blinked at him.</p><p> </p><p>“What’cha doing, mate?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“My own <em>creative act</em>,” Luka snarled.  Dingo whooped as the other man scrambled to his feet and raised his fists defensively.</p><p> </p><p>“Bring it, pretty boy – need another knock to set you straight?!” he snapped.  Luka was halfway across the cell when the door banged open.</p><p> </p><p>“Couffaine!  Haul ass – your ride’s here!” the officer called.  She paused outside the door, looking between Luka and the other man.  “Jesus Christ, Couffaine.  Maybe your wife <em>should </em>let you rot in here a night.”</p><p> </p><p>The door to the bullpen opened again, and they could hear shouting from the other side.  A younger officer, one who looked a little terrified, waved at his coworker.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, she’s…um…he needs to get out here,” the officer squeaked.  “NOW.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m getting him,” the female officer said with a roll of her eyes.  She was already unlocking the cell when an ear-piercing shriek echoed down the hall.</p><p> </p><p>“I think she’s having the baby, though,” the younger officer said.  “She’s…um…yeah, she doesn’t look good.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“GET MY GODDAMNED HUSBAND OUT.  HERE.  RIGHT.  NOOOOOOOOW!!!!!”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Holy shit,” Dingo croaked as Luka shoved his way past the female officer and started racing down the hall.  He heard a scrabble behind him – the door slamming, the officer and Dingo arguing about whether or not Dingo could actually leave the cell (“That’s my niece being born!”  “Well your wife isn’t here yet with your bail!”), the other men heckling the whole mess – but that was the least of his concerns.  He could still hear Marinette screaming, though it had turned from coherent words to high-pitched wailing.  He pushed past the younger officer and skidded into the bullpen, his eyes going wide as he finally saw her.</p><p> </p><p>She was doubled over, her knuckles white as she gripped Chief Roger’s arms.  Her face was twisted in pain, her teeth clenched as she tried not to scream and sweat glistening on her brow.  Chief Roger was trying to calm her down, but the other officers working that night were cowering in the back.  (This hadn’t been the first time Pregnant Marinette had graced the precinct with her presence, and most of them had learned a healthy respect of her.)  The contraction passed, and Marinette’s eyes snapped open to glare at Chief Roger.</p><p> </p><p>“Get.  Luka.  <em>Now,</em>” she seethed through clenched teeth.  “I swear to God, Roger, if I have to tell my baby she was born in jail I will hold you <em>personally</em> respo…aaaaahhhhhholy shiiiiiiiiiiiit!”</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette!” he called, hopping over the gate that separated the bullpen from the back and racing over to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Luka!  Thank God!” she cried as she turned to him, and he yelped as she immediately slapped him.  “What the hell is wrong with you, you asshole?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Dingo –” he started, but then she was gripping his arms and his eyes were bugging out of his head and his mouth fell open as he stared desperately at Chief Roger, who could only smirk at him as Marinette screamed again.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t give a shit what Dingo did he’s not the one who did this to me!!!!!!” Marinette shouted as she slumped against him.  “Oh my God, Luka, there were supposed to be drugs!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I know, darning,” he soothed, reaching around to rub her back as she slumped against him.  She started sobbing, and all he could do was hold her as she shook and cried.</p><p> </p><p>“She was just kicking,” Marinette whimpered.  “She was just really active today, and I was upset because of the shower, and I didn’t think she was actually coming and…!!!!!!”</p><p> </p><p>Her words cut off in another scream, and he held her tighter as her knees threatened to give out on her.  Luka looked back at Chief Roger.  He was already moving past him, waving for him to follow with his keys in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, son,” Roger said.  “We need to get her to the hospital.  I don’t like how close these contractions are.”</p><p> </p><p>“How…right,” Luka said, nodding.  He kissed Marinette’s forehead before he bent, scooping an arm under knees and lifting her to his chest.  “It’s ok, darning.  We’re going to the hospital now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to have my baby in Chief Roger’s cruiser,” Marinette sobbed, curling against him.  “Oooooh, I’m going to kill you if you ever touch me again!!!”</p><p> </p><p>Chief Roger snickered, patting his back as he held open the door for them.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok, Luka,” he chuckled, but Luka didn’t really think it was.  “They all say that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to kill Dingo if Harmony’s born in…aaaaaaggghhhhh!!!!” Marinette screamed, her grip around his neck tightening so hard he stumbled on the last step out the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit, Couffaine, watch it!”</p><p> </p><p>He looked up to see Brielle.  She had reached out, gripping one of his shoulders and one of Marinette’s to steady him.  Her eyes were wide as her gaze travelled from Marinette’s tortured face to his own, and before Luka could say anything she started tugging them towards her car.</p><p> </p><p>“Dingo can fucking wait – come on!” she snapped, but Chief Roger was already tugging him back towards the cruiser.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, no, Mme. King – I’m taking them,” he said.  When Brielle went to argue, he jabbed his thumb towards the station.  He held the back door of the cruiser open for Luka, nodding for him to get Marinette inside.  “I have a siren – you don’t.  You go get your husband and meet us there.”</p><p> </p><p>“But –!” Brielle tried to argue, but the last thing Luka heard before Chief Roger slammed the driver door was a barked <em>GO!</em>  The siren flared to life moments after Chief Roger started the car, and then they were on their way.  He brushed Marinette’s bangs back, kissing her forehead as she squeezed the life out of his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re doing great, darning,” he soothed, pressing his forehead against her own.  “I’m so proud of you.  You’re –”</p><p> </p><p>“Luka shut up I ha….aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!” she screamed again, and Luka (wisely) shut his mouth and let her scream.  He glanced out the window as he dropped another kiss to her head, hoping they made it in time.</p><p> </p><p>– V –</p><p> </p><p>The ride to the hospital had taken less than ten minutes.  Once they were there, Marinette had immediately been rushed into the back.  Harmony was coming, and she was coming <em>now</em>, and they didn’t have a second to waste.</p><p> </p><p>Later, the doctor would explain that Marinette had been in labor for most if not all of the day.  What she had thought was Harmony being restless was actually their little girl getting ready to make her grand entrance, and Marinette would sheepishly tell him that she hadn’t even noticed her water breaking.  Her bladder had been so temperamental the past few weeks, and she hadn’t had that big <em>oh my God my water broke</em> moment you see in all the movies.  And she had been so upset at the baby shower – which had been a disaster and she refused to talk about – that she hadn’t noticed the contractions, or if she had she had just thought Harmony was more active than usual because of the stress.  Like she usually was.  It had only gotten worse when Jocelyn had burst through her door, Chief Roger on the phone, and she’d rushed down to the station.  Then she’d started arguing with Chief Roger about arresting him in the first place, and things had <em>really</em> kicked off.</p><p> </p><p>But that would be later, after Harmony was there and cleaned and Marinette had been allowed to hold her and cry (while she apologized for every mean thing she had said to him, she loved him, she didn’t actually want to castrate him, it wasn’t his fault Dingo was a dumbass).  After Marinette had rested, but before the steady stream of visitors would be allowed in.  Before Brielle had made the rest of the phone calls, because they had been in such a rush his phone was still back at the station (Chief Roger would drop it off later).</p><p> </p><p>That would all come later, when he would insist only the grandparents – Sabine and Tom and Anarka, Jagged, no you don’t need to catch a redeye from Queensland she’ll be the same baby when you get back next week – could visit.  When he’d maybe cave and let Brielle in first, because she was there (and he wasn’t letting Dingo anywhere near the baby while he was still drunk) and could start handling some of the things he currently couldn’t (like those phone calls).  When he’d sneak out of the room for a coffee and find himself drowning in a wave of hugs from everyone who had taken over the waiting room near their room, all eager to see Marinette and welcome Harmony to the world.  Their parents, Gina and Roland, Juleka and Rose, Alya and Nino, Adrien (with Kagami on vidcall), Chloé and Abner, Dingo and Brielle, Mylène and Ivan, Jocelyn and one of the designers…the room was <em>packed</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Later.  After.  Right then, Luka was only focused on the little girl bundled in his arms.  She was sleeping, just like her maman, and he had no desire to wake her any time soon.  Her arrival had been chaotic enough – he was enjoying the peace.  While it lasted.  Lord knew there would be enough chaos soon enough.</p><p> </p><p>He had pulled the rocker over to the bed, humming quietly as he rocked their little Harmony.  He was smiling – he knew he was, he hadn’t been able to stop since the nurse had handed her to him – at that thought.  She had come into the world like a hurricane.  Like a Couffaine.  It was only natural chaos would follow her.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re gonna be a handful, aren’t you?” he whispered, bending down to press his lips against her soft forehead.  She squirmed, cooing as she fussed.  He chuckled and resumed his rocking.  “Daddy’s little bit of chaos.”</p><p> </p><p>“…we’re not calling her that,” Marinette grumbled from the bed.  He looked up, grinning as he saw her smiling sleepily at him.  She raised her arms, crooking her fingers at him.  “C’mere.”</p><p> </p><p>“You should be resting,” he said, standing and stepping over to the bed.  She scooted over, but he shook his head.  “Darning, look at what you did today.  You need to sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“I want my baby and my husband,” she grumbled, patting the space she had made for him on the bed.  “Get up here.”</p><p> </p><p>He sighed and carefully sat beside her, trying not to jostle her or the baby too much.  She sighed and curled against him once he leaned back on the bed, bringing a finger up to brush against Harmony’s dark curls.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s so soft…” Marinette whispered, awestruck.  “Look at you.  Don’t listen to Papa – you’re not chaos.  You’re perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>“…I was in jail not five hours ago,” Luka scoffed, but she was still cooing at the baby.</p><p> </p><p>“And we’re gonna have a long talk about that later, yes we are,” Marinette said.  He laughed as she settled against his shoulder, dropping a kiss against her tangled hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Rest, Mari,” he whispered, kissing her temple.  “We’ll still be here when you wake up.  God knows she won’t be letting you sleep soon enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chaos Couffaine,” Marinette mumbled, her eyes already closed and halfway back to sleep.  Luka smiled as he looked down at their little harmony, and he started humming again.  He liked that, even if she didn’t.  His little Chaos.</p><p> </p><p>Yeah.  He liked that a lot.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279404">The Best (Chaotic) Gift Ever</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasy_Pens/pseuds/Fantasy_Pens">Fantasy_Pens</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
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